So this is the part where I am supposed to write about my childhood and what it was like growing up ? Well it wasn’t until recently that I actually started thinking about this and super hard too. Now for most people growing up is a memorable time, it’s a time when you have no worries no fears, you have hopes and aspirations of what your future will hold. ? Well for me it’s a complete blank ? I can’t remember any of my primary or junior schools ? I don’t recall any school plays or Christmas parties or discos or anything. I don’t recall any school friends or buildings or even where I was living. Which makes me sit here and scratch my head because if I wasn’t in school what was I doing ? I don’t even remember where I was living ? Now this makes me feel helpless and vulnerable and it also makes my mind start wondering because I’ve been through so much and seen so much I now know that anything is possible which to be honest scares the living shit out of me.

Now for some people who forget things in time it’s simple to do but can someone really just forget a while 11 years of there young life ? Really ? I hear you all say already and I still have to keep asking myself is this really even possible or have I completely lost my mind. I am 45 after all and you hear of middle aged people losing there memory or even there mind but I have memories of other things so dementia definitely isn’t an option here. So as I was saying most people would go and look for old photographs or ask family members what they know or what they can uncover. For me ? I came to a complete blank, I don’t seem to have any old photographs which i still to this day find so bizarre, and as for family members well … and that is where I’m going here to make a start.

So my family, like I said I have my mum my dad and my brother, now I’m led to believe that I’m from quite a big respected family, my nanna and grandad had 11 children and my mum was one of them, they all lived in Southport except for a couple of the older family members that had moved to better places down south. Now out of all them 11 children I only remember two of the Aunties and 4 of the uncles the rest I have never met in my life or spoke to. So quite a big family. It what was the rift why weren’t they close and why have I never had the pleasure of meeting any of them ?